'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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