Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
