Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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