whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
