Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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