...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
