I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
