sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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