Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
