"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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