So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
