i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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