so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
