yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
