its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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