I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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