I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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