Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
