is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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