Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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