I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize