I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
