TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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