Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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