I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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