hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize