the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
