I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
