i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
