No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
