my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i was born a porn star she said
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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