I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
