Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
