I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize