let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
