i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize