Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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