For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
