i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
