YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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