we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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