Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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