its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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