I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He managed to rip my nipple last night....