I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
