Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
