I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize