shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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