Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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