You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
