One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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