Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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