I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
