just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
