so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize