Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
