I accidentally had phone sex last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
